Jesus Sometimes Creates Tensions in Our Families and Friendships
Posted by Randy | Labels: Faithfulness, Family, Friends, James, Mark, Mary, Matthew, Micah, Persecution, Witness | Posted On Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 12:01 AM
The Gospel of Mark is jam-packed with stories, and it's hard to pick out any one thing to write about in chapters 3-4. However, one thing did catch my attention - it's something many folks who follow Jesus discover, just as Jesus himself experienced.
"One time Jesus entered a house, and the crowds began to gather again. Soon he and his disciples couldn't even find time to eat. When his family heard what was happening, they tried to take him away. 'He's out of his mind,' they said." (Mark 3:20-21, NLT)
Obviously there was some tension between Jesus and his family at this point in his life. Mark has told us nothing about Jesus' family, including stories about his birth. But all the Gospel writers recognized being with Jesus would be a source of tension in many families and friendships. In Matthew, Jesus cautions about what happens when people follow him, and then he quotes the Old Testament prophet Micah:
"'Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword. "I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Your enemies will be right in your own household."'" (Matthew 10:34-36, quote from Micah 7:6)
Jesus didn't mean he came to intentionally create strife in families and friendships. But he realized that there was always a cost to being his follower. People would be uncomfortable with a follower's level of faith, with their commitment to Christ, with their moral and ethical choices, etc. It seems so radical, so extreme sometimes.
I've talked with many Christ followers who have family members and friends who just don't understand or get it. A wife or a husband who thinks it's weird going to church, a friend who doesn't understand why you're changing some of your old habits, a co-worker who wonders if she or he can trust you anymore. This can be a real struggle for some Christ followers, to the point where they end up compromising their faith for the sake of these other relationships.
Jesus clearly faced this with his family at this point in his life. He'd given up a safe job as a carpenter to be some kind of itinerant preacher. He didn't seem to care who he angered or upset, including very powerful men. Some of the folks he was hanging out with were clearly from the other side of the tracks, or worse, tax collectors and sinners. Even though his mother Mary knew he had been a special child from God, this may have been more than they had bargained for, and they thought Jesus just might have lost it.
In fact, a few verses later, when his mother and brothers come to see him and talk to him, he refuses to stop his teaching and go out to see them. He even calls those who do God's will his "'...brother and sister and mother.'" (3:35)
Sometimes those we love just don't get it. They don't understand what it means to follow Jesus and the difference he can make in a person's life. And our relationship with Jesus can set family members and friends against each other. Maybe that's what you're struggling with right now.
But, this story doesn't end here. John tells us, "Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene." (John 19:25 NLT2) In fact, Jesus cared so much for his mother that as he hung there on the cross, he entrusted the care of his mother to the disciple John. Likewise, Jesus' brother James became active in the Jewish Christian church in Jerusalem. In fact, scholars believe that he ultimately led that church and wrote the Book of James in the Bible.
Sometimes family and friends don't get Jesus, but if we're patient and express the love of Christ to them, many of them eventually come around to become followers, too. It's always exciting to me to see a person come to faith in Christ, and before long see other members of their family and friends came to faith, because their witness was so encouraging. Sometimes it takes years, even decades. And sadly, some family and friends may never come around. While Jesus never compromised his faith and convictions for his family and friends, he also never gave up on them, and neither can we. We may be the very one God uses to reach that family member or friend.
