Questions for the Person Who Says They Can't Change

Posted by Randy | Labels: , , , , , | Posted On Saturday, January 29, 2011 at 10:15 PM

In my message on January 30, I'm talking about those situations where we feel stuck, where we feel like we can't change: "That's just the way I am. I can't change." But are we really stuck? Can we really not change?

In his book, The Christian Atheist (pp. 133-134), Pastor Craig Groeschel has six simple questions he asks when a person says they can’t change. If that person says yes to three or more of these, odds are they have a problem. Listed below are those questions:

1. Do your family and friends say you have a problem? 
You may deny it, but others often see objectively what you cannot see.

2. Do you continue even though you are hurting people? 
If you look at what some folks claim has control over you, do you keep doing it or giving in to it, even though it affects others negatively?

You may well not want to hurt others, but if they continue to suffer because of your actions, odds are you have a problem.

3. Do you arrange your schedule, priorities, or spending around it? 
If you make major life changes in order to get your “fix,” odds are, your fix has a strong hold on you.

4. Can you go one week without it? 
If you can’t walk away from something for a week, odds are you’re in bondage to it.

5. Is it driving others away? 
When an addiction reaches advanced stages, it tends to isolate the one who’s addicted. When your actions continually hurt, abuse, or neglect others, they tend to pull back.

6. Are you denying it is a problem or trying to keep it a secret? 
If you feel defensive, always claiming you don’t have a problem, you probably do.

If you’re hiding a behavior from others, there’s a problem, and it needs to be addressed head-on. Nothing can get change or begin to improve until we do. So, face the truth, and trust that God really can make a difference in your life.


“Each time (the Lord) said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NLT2)